WALK ABOUT...

 Interestingly, no one has really asked me why I'm taking this trip. For most it probably seems self-evident, after all I went through with Kent's illness. I actually have asked myself that question several times, in a number of different ways; through meditation, journaling, crying fits, and scoldings to myself which went something like, "oh my god are you kidding me you are going to give up your job, your home on Maui, your friends and family all to go off on a stupid trip and spend all that money, and probably come back broke, with some weird illness, and unable to ever be employed again...why can't you just take a vacation like any normal person?" I have asked myself to the center of myself, "why do you feel compeled to do this trip this way?" And there is not just one answer; there are a number of answers, all having to do with various ways of looking at my life right now. One answer is that I write short stories; and in my mind my life is like a series of short stories, which have a beginning, a middle, and an end. And the end of a story needs to be honored. Another answer in the negative is; I am not looking to find myself; or to find God. I've spent as much time finding myself, and seeking God as I plan to do in this lifetime. The closest I've come to the reason for this journey is to answer this question for myself, "okay, so what am I supposed to do with the rest of my life now?!" I want to answer this question moving through the world, seeing new sights, meeting new people, and having new experiences. I want to go out and walk about...for a while.