The day has finally arrived. I leave the Westside of Maui today; my home for the past 22 years. Although it feels like I will not be returning, life has a funny way of making liars of us all. I came to Maui from Salinas, California in July, 1987. Strangely, I left Salinas in the same bitter sweet way that I am leaving Maui, although in a completely different set of circumstances. I seem to come to an end in places where there is no more energy or spirit in that place for my wheels to turn. Writing this is hard, because I want to say what I have to say in a way that doesn't negate the good that I've experienced here. It's just all the air has gone out of the balloon for me on Maui. There are a list of reasons, and top of the list would be the loss of my love. Although I discovered Maui five years before I met Kent; he became the spirit of this island for me. He was my one true love, and love for him and love of Maui were one love. Sadly, that love has drifted into the ether with his spirit, leaving behind a wooden box filled with dry ashes now tucked away in a storage bin on the lanai. That is the way of life and endings, the drifting on of the past and the moving forward into the future. It is what we do. I can't predict how my feelings may change during the next eight months; I may wake up in some foreign land and feel an overwhelming desire to return to my home and friends on Maui. Leaving may show me a new view of memories that will draw me back to my island home, or I may find a new home.
Today ending this story of Maui, which has been a long, wonderful, brilliant, illuminating, sad beyond a broken heart telling. When I left Salinas, even though I was 38 years old, I was still a child. I had never had a real job for any length of time, never been in a long-term relationship, never been responsible to anyone; I was like a twenty-year old just going out into the world to make my way. I had moved back to Salinas after finishing college in Fresno, and even thought I tried to "fit" there, I just didn't. Through a series of interesting "coincidences"; a suggestion from a therapist, getting laid off my job, losing friendships, and having a friend who had a friend on Maui, I packed up my life and came to Maui to see what would happen. Maui is full of stories like mine, people who came here seeking their dreams. When I arrived, I didn't know the friends I would meet, the jobs I would have, the places I would live, the lover of my life I would meet on the road to Kihei; just as I do not know these things about the trip I am making now. I have found myself, at several times in my life, in situations where I have the freedom to take a huge leap of faith and jump off into the future. Each time I've taken that leap it has lead me to places that have become the mosiac of my life. I don't know what impels me, or what in the end would be the point of it all, but I do know that it is the truth of my life, and so....here I go again! Aloha Westside until we meet again! Bless you Maui for all you have shown me, and given me, and made of me. I take a piece of the island melded to my heart.
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